A Fine Line
by Moonlight Enchantments
Summary: Reela fic. There's a fine line between being Roomies and living together. There's a fine line between hate and lust & there's a very fine line between lust and love. The boundaries of Neela and Ray's relationship change, perhaps forever. Rating may vary
1. Neela, Pancakes and Giggles

**Disclaimer: ER and all related characters do not, unfortunately, belong to me. If they did I could visit the studio and get to know all the actors... but I can't alas. **

**A/N Hey there! I have newly discovered the gloriousness of the ER category, here at FF. I tried a little one shot, and then I had to try and branch it out, because I loved the category so much. Unfortunately they were all relatively plot-less and I didn't really like them so I thought I would throw caution to the wind, delete that story and begin again with my own fic! I have no idea where this will go, but expect lots of fluff, because I'm a romantic. It's set in the ER (obviously) but not in relation to the series so I believe that is an AU. Expect appearances from old characters! But the main premise of the fiction is a Reela. I can't help it, I love 'em! The rating is currently T but I'm not sure whether it might go up to an M. There will be swearing and "adult themes" please tell me what you think the rating should be! Now, enough of my rambling, please read and review, any constructive comments welcome! Or just praise if you really want... hehe!**

Chapter 1- Neela

"Ray!" I shouted into the depths of my apartment, the one I shared with fellow doctor and the bane of my life, Ray Barnett. It seemed I had also acquired new room-mates in the shape of 3 passed out members of Ray's band, a drum kit and two blonde girls who were making pancakes in the kitchen.

My elusive room-mate stumbled out of his bedroom, looking a little worse for wear but no doubt better than I looked, after finished a double shift. His brown hair was sticking up, as usual, and he ran his hands, with their black painted finger nails, through it -to no avail.

"Neela, what's up?"

"Ray, what the hell is going on?" I said, my voice clipped. God, sometimes I really sounded like my mother.

"Sorry, we had a gig last night, you know how it is."

"No, I don't actually." I sighed, "Are they planning on leaving any time soon?"

"Um..." he replied, with a casual shrug.

"Fine!" I said, moodily, before storming into my room. Half an hour later I had changed into my pyjamas and crawled into bed. Unfortunately I had no hope for sleep because all I could hear was shrill giggling and -just to scar my mind more than it already was- moaning. Not the best lullaby for anyone. I got up again, pulled on a trench coat that had been hanging forlornly in my wardrobe and headed out the door.

"Tell him I've gone to Abby's!" I shouted, before slamming the front door.

The trench coat was no match for the freezing Chicago winter, and I arrived at my friend's apartment looking dreadful. I knew, I'd passed my own reflection in shop windows and been scared. Abby opened the door and I collapsed into her arms, sobbing.

"Neela, what's happened? Is it Michael?" Michael Gallant was my sort-of boyfriend, who was off fighting for his country in Iraq.

"No, it's Ray, I'm so tired!"

"Tired of what? What happened?" She asked, leading me into the apartment. We passed through the living room and into her bedroom, where she sat us on the bed. "Neela, come on... what's wrong?"

"He's so inconsiderate, they were all there, giggling, and..." My eyes were heavy and sore, from crying and being sleepy. I cuddled against her warmth and took comfort in her stroking my hair.

"It's alright, just lie down, we'll talk later ok?" I nodded and did as she asked, laying down on the blissfully soft bed. I was asleep before I could even think of the day's previous events.

I woke up and found myself in a strange room. It took me a minute to get aligned with my brain, and remember everything that had happened. As soon as I had remembered I blushed, even to myself. I was so embarrassed, I must have looked like such an idiot. I got up, took of my trench coat and wandered into the living room, in my pyjamas. Abby was sitting on the sofa, flicking through the channels on t.v.

"Hi," I said, softly. She turned and smiled.

"Feeling better?" She asked.

"Yes, thanks for the bed. Sorry... I was extremely tired and..." Before I could begin my rambling apology she patted the space on the couch beside her. I trotted over obediently.

"It's alright. So, what happened?"

I took a deep breath, and explained; "I finished a double shift and came home to utter chaos, there were guys and girls everywhere... well, there were quite a few of them. Making pancakes actually... anyway I couldn't get to sleep because I could hear," I stopped and pulled a face. Abby rose her eyebrows but said nothing, "And then I stormed out. I was just too tired to face it."

"Ray can be a jerk sometimes."

"Yeah... I guess that's it. It's just sometimes he's so sweet, and then he goes and does this and I think I can't hate him more. Then he's all sweet and suave and we're friends again. It's extremely annoying."

She nodded, knowingly, "I understand."

I narrowed my eyes, "Understand what?"

"Oh... nothing," she said, with a smile.


	2. Ray, Running Late

Chapter 2- Ray

I skidded into the ambulance bay outside of County hospital, Chicago. I was late -again. I walked in and gave Frank a grin, before practically running to the Doctor's Lounge. I hurried to get out of my parka, which only served to get me more tangled up. Eventually I got free, shoved it in my locker, and donned my white lab coat. I turned and saw Kerry Weaver standing behind me, tapping her foot.

"Shit!" I said, as she'd made me jump. "I mean... um..."

"You're late Barnett, third time _this _week! And you've only had four shifts. This is unacceptable."

"Look, I'm really, really sorry," I said, giving her my best I-know-I'm-bad-but-look-how-sweet-I-can-be-smile. She didn't looked amused. "Sorry," I mumbled.

She sighed, "Barnett, do you want to be a doctor? Because if you don't, you know where the door is."

"Of course I want to be a doctor! I mean, I've always wanted to be a doctor, I love working here!"

"Then start turning up, on time, otherwise you'll have to pray for a record deal with that band of yours." She turned and left the room, leaving me blinking behind her.

"Shit," I said again.

I returned to the Doctor's Lounge that evening, after a busy shift. But in the ER every shift was busy. I wandered in, wanting to grab a coffee and then head home when I saw my room-mate, Neela Rasgotra. She was wearing her standard lab coat, and was just putting her stethoscope around her neck.

"Hey Neela," I said, heading to my locker, suddenly a thought occurred to me, "Hey, where've you been, I haven't seen you in a while, got a new boyfriend or something?" I said with a laugh.

She glared at me, "No. I've been staying at Abby's, for some reason I didn't feel comfortable trying to sleep while you had sex with god-knows-who at god-knows-what-hour!"

I took a step back, I really hadn't been expecting that. I knew that I'd had a few girls over, but I didn't realise she'd been that annoyed. "Gee, I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"Yeah, don't worry about it. I'm looking for another place anyway."

"Neela, come on, it isn't that bad is it? Let's just talk about it and we'll, you know, reach a compromise or whatever." I really liked having Neela as a roomie, sure we were polar opposites but we got on well enough and shared the same kind of humour. Hell, I'd even persuaded her into an admiration -if not like- of rock music. I began to think I might miss her if she moved out. "I'd miss you."

She frowned, "You? Would miss _me_? Aren't I just cramping your style?"

"No, who else would I watch poker with?"

She sighed, and I could see her mellowing out, "Maybe we could give it one last try."

"Thank you," I said, walking over to her and kissing her forehead, "See you later, Roomie."

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**A/N Hey, this was a short one too, I know! But it is still the introduction, I just wanted to show you the layout of following chapters (i.e. one from Neela, one from Ray) Hope you liked anyway. Proper plot to follow, after reviews anyway... hopefully!**


	3. Neela, Cheap Beer

**A/N Hey there! Thank you for your reviews, I'm glad you like this so far, and are giving it a chance! Anyway, a quick question about the rating, I'm not sure whether this should be an M? It's a T at the minute because there's only been minor swearing, but there will be more and also "adult themes" (hehe). So please tell me what you guys think in a review. If anyone thinks T is too low I'm happy to put it higher. Basically the content will be the same as ER, you get me? Lol.

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Chapter 3- Neela 

"Ray, we need to talk," I said, walking into our shared kitchen. My room-mate was leaning against the counter, with two cans of beer, wearing a black t-shirt with some band on it and a pair of sweat pants. He threw me a can.

"Yup, ground rules right?" I nodded in reply and we went into the living room. He flopped onto the sofa, lying sprawled out. I pushed his legs off and sat next to him.

"Alright," I said, pulling out a pad of paper, "So, if we write down our schedules, and what we both want to do on certain nights we can come up with a compromise of who gets the apartment and when." I turned to him, and saw him covering his mouth trying to stop laughter. "What?"

"Your taking this a bit seriously aren't you?" He said and a laugh escaped.

"Fine, well I'm going to go out looking for another apartment right now then," I said, getting up. He pulled me back down.

"Aw, come on Neela. Right, I'm serious, I have band practise on Tuesdays and Thursdays so the apartment is free for you then, to bring over your boyfriends or whatever."

"I don't have a boyfriend!"

"What about Michael?"

I grabbed my can and opened it, downing it in one. "That tastes disgusting, can't we get some nice alcohol for once?"

He gave his cheeky smile, "I do believe Dr. Rasgotra just ignored my question by drinking a can of beer. Nice, classy indeed!"

I hit him with a cushion, "Now, if we can get over my love-life, or the lack of it, let's continue."

"Fine, give me the paper." I gave it to him, he promptly threw it over his shoulder. I was left staring at him, open mouthed.

"Ray!"

"If we're going to be proper roomies, with rules and all that shit, we have to at least get to know each other." He held out his hand and put on a cheesy smile, "Hi, my name's Ray Barnett and I'm a wannabe musician slash doctor," he said in a cheesy-chat-show-host voice.

"I'm Neela Rasgotra, and my room-mate is an idiot," I said, but I couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face. He pouted at me;

"Play properly Neela."

I sighed, "Fine, I'm Neela, I'm a doctor too, wow don't we have so much in common! I enjoy poker, beer and playing the key board."

"You play keyboard?"

"No, well, a little. I can play the Titanic theme," I said, raising my eyebrows, "I'm very multi-talented."

"Ok. So, love life?"

I took a deep breath, considering. "I have an on/off boyfriend who is fighting in Iraq. But I'm not quite sure where that's going, or even where I want it to go. You?"

"Ah, I am also multi-talented. Many..." he paused, "One night stands... groupies etc." He shrugged, "I'm a musician, it's part of the life style."

"How... nice for you."

"Oh yes," he said with a sly nod, "It's _very _nice."

"Shut up."

"Alright, serious Ray now, so what about Michael, do you love him?" He asked.

"I don't know," I replied after a moments pause.

"If you love someone, you know."

I scoffed, "And how would you know, man of one night stands and groupies?"

"That's what they say in the movies is it not?"

"Yes, I just don't know how we're meant to build a relationship when he's fighting in a war a million miles away."

Ray looked serious, "I think this conversation needs more beer."

"Me too."

I woke up the next morning, at least I assumed it was morning because of the light pouring in through the window, with a killer headache. I sat up and saw beer cans littered around. I was still on the sofa. I'd not been so drunk that I couldn't make it to bed since... well, ever. I looked over at Ray who was sleeping peacefully on the carpet, his t-shirt hitched up so I could see his tanned back. I nudged him with my foot, he moaned.

"Ray!" I said, my voice croaky. "Get up, you oaf!"

"Shut-up," he mumbled, "You're the oaf."

I sighed and got up, heading to the kitchen. I got a quick glance at the clock, it was half eleven, before nausea overwhelmed me and I had to run for the bathroom. When I came out Ray was standing at the sink with a pint glass of water. "I feel like shit," he muttered.

"You're not the only one. I just threw up." He cast me a sympathetic glance and nodded at the glass of water on the side.

"For you."

"Thanks." I took a tentative sip. "Are you working today?"

"Not till later, thank the lord."

"I'm late, Weaver is going to kill me."

"Pull a sickie and spend the day nursing me," he said with a wry grin.

"How can you still joke with a hangover like this?"

"I'm used to it. Sorry, I'm a bad influence on you, perhaps you should... look for another place."

I shook my head, "Too much trouble, and besides I'd spend too much money on nice beer instead of that crap you buy."

He nodded and handed me the phone, "I'd go for the flu, I'll play it up when I go in tonight."

I hesitated, I'd never called in sick when I wasn't before. I dialled the ER, Jerry picked up, "County Hospital, Emergency Room."

"Hey Jerry," I croaked, feeling incredibly guilty, "It's Neela Rasgotra, I've got some sort of flu, I'm not going to be able to come in today."

"Make sure you stay off until you're over it, I don't want your germs, bye," he said cheerfully, before hanging up. I handed the phone back to Ray.

"That was... surprisingly easy."

He grinned, "Of course, you have me as your mentor." He gave a bow.

I laughed then covered my mouth, "I'm going to be sick again!" I shouted before running for the bathroom.

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**A/N Hope you liked it, please review!**


	4. Ray, Things we've never done

**Disclaimer: I do not own the plot of Breakfast at Tiffany's**

**A/N Thanks for all your reviews! Keep 'em coming!**

Chapter 4- Ray

I cringed as I heard her throwing up. That was never a good sound. I went to the bathroom and knocked on the door. "You ok in there?"

"No," she moaned. I went in, she was knelt over the toilet. I grabbed a wash cloth and ran it under the cold tap. I knelt down next to her and moved her so she was sitting, cross-legged, in front of me. I washed around her mouth then rinsed the cloth out, folded it and held it against her forehead.

"You really shouldn't drink if you can't hold it."

"Shut-up, please," she pleaded, closing her eyes.

"Sorry, my fault anyway. I shouldn't have bought that other six pack. That was our downfall."

She laughed, pitifully, as if she was going to cry. "Stop making me laugh."

"Sorry." We sat there for a while, on the cold lino. She was completely different this morning, in a cute kind of way, because she had to depend on me. It probably would have been better if I hadn't also felt like I was dying. When we finally managed to get up and move to the sofa, she fell asleep. So I got her a blanket and headed for the shower. The hot water made me feel a little better, though not much. When I got out I realised I'd forgotten to bring any clothes in with me, so I just wrapped a towel around my waist and padded across the hall to my room. Neela was just walking from the kitchen back to the living room.

"Oh... I was just wondering where... you... were." She said, her eyes wide.

"Sorry, just taking a shower. I forgot my clean clothes."

"Oh. Um, I'll just go... over there," she said, before walking into the living room. I headed into my bedroom, smiling. She was incredibly funny, and it was a bit of a male-ego boost too. When I got dressed I went to the living room, not before I heard her talking to herself.

"Idiot girl, he was just out of the shower. Stupid, stupid, stupid." I coughed and she swivelled round, looking embarrassed.

"Hi." I gave her a smile.

"Hi. I want to die now." I laughed and walked over to her, I sat next to her and put my arm around her.

"It's alright, no-one can resist my body."

"It's not that I just... wasn't expecting..."

"It's cool Neela. Honest, I won't mention it again. So what shall we do today, you being a rebel an' all."

She considered. "Have you ever seen Breakfast at Tiffany's?"

"No," I said, pulling a face. I hoped she wasn't going to make me watch some old chick flicks.

"Don't look like that, it's a good film. Anyway, in that they spend the day doing things they've never done before. I've never pulled a sickie, or been so drunk I couldn't make it to bed so... what do you think?"

"That sounds intriguing. But I think you'll find it hard finding things I haven't done."

"Alright, let's load up on painkillers and make the day of it."

I laughed, then went to the kitchen and brought back two glasses of water and a bottle of paracetamol. "Ah the delights of being a doctor."

We were sitting on the L-train when she turned to me, "Ok, your turn. What haven't you done?"

I considered for a moment, "Had sex on the L-train."

She raised an eyebrow then patted my arm, "And I'm sorry to be the one to tell you but you never will. Alright have you..."

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I was actually on time for work, for once. I walked in casually, "Hey Frank."

"Barnett," he grunted. I made my way to the Doctor's Lounge, a grin plastered on my face. I had had such a great day with Neela. She had -eventually- managed to find things I hadn't done, and I of course had a multitude of things to pick that she hadn't done. I put on my lab coat and turned to see Abby Lockhart.

"Hi Ray," she said, "How's Neela? Jerry said she's off sick."

"Huh?" I said, before thinking, "Oh! Um, yeah, flu or something."

Abby raised an eyebrow, "Right. Tell her I hope she gets better."

"I will." I made my way to the door, and she grabbed my arm,

"You better not get her into trouble."

I gave a grin, "I'll try not to."

"I'm serious Barnett."

"I won't get her in trouble," I said, seriously. "I promise."

She nodded and let me go, I walked out of the room. I was actually kind of worried now, I didn't want to hurt Neela and wouldn't do it on purpose, but... sometimes mistakes happen right?

"Ray! Two GSWs coming in now," Doctor Kovac shouted. I put my stethoscope round my neck and ran after him. Another fun night in the ER.

When I got a chance I rang Neela, "Hello?" She answered with a fake croak.

"It's alright it's Ray."

"Oh hi Ray," she replied, her voice bright. "What's up?"

"Nothing... We had a good day today right?"

"Um, yeah, it was fun. You sound all weird. What's wrong?"

I shook my head, even though she couldn't see it, "Just something Abby said."

"What?"

"She warned me not to hurt you."

She gave a laugh. "Don't worry, I can look after myself, tell her that. Why are you all worried. Yes, we had a fun time, what do you think I'm going to do, kill myself because we won't do it again?"

"No..." when she put it like that this phone call did seem stupid.

"Ray, we're friends, Roomies right? We spent the day getting to each other. It's fine."

"Yeah. You're right, I'm an idiot. Sorry to bother you, what you up to tonight anyway?"

"I'm going to get some sleep. I've been deprived recently what with a certain room-mate keeping me up till all hours with tales of lost love from his teenage years."

"They were very exciting tales I'll have you know!" I said, chuckling, "Alright, night then."

"Night." She hung up. I put the phone down and walked down the corridor to get some coffee. Why had I needed to phone her? It was weird... I shook my head. I was the weird one.

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**A/N Hope you liked! Please review! More soon!**


	5. Neela, Decisions

**A/N Thank you for all your wonderful reviews! You all rule! hehe, **

**Hope you enjoy, oh a bit of um... foreplay in this chapter. Or something... anyway just warning you. Nothing too graphic though. Again, just tell me if you think the rating should go up.**

Chapter 5- Neela

I was on the sofa, flicking through the channels trying to find something that was a compromise between the news and cheesy-chat-shows, when Ray came home. He walked in a dumped his rucksack on the floor before sitting down next to me, and pulling half the blanket onto him.

"Hey Roomie," he said, leaning his head back against the sofa and closing his eyes. "I am _so _tired."

"What do you want me to do about it?" I said, slightly moodily at having my peace broken. I hadn't actually gotten much sleep last night either, I'd felt really guilty for skipping work. I knew they were short staffed and they'd probably needed me.

"Oh, touchy!"

"Sorry," I said, "I didn't get much sleep last night."

He opened one eye, "Dreaming about me?"

"No!"

"Michael?"

"No! God, what is it with guys and their egos, it was no-one, male or female, keeping me awake. Just a good friend of mine called guilt."

He burst out laughing, "You're feeling guilty? What for?"

"Skipping work yesterday."

"No-one missed you."

"Thanks," I said, huffy again.

"Not like that. God, you really are tired. Let me get you coffee before you eat me or something. I'm going to grab a shower first though, you don't want any ER gunge in your coffee."

"Fine," I said, settling back down on the sofa my eyes closed just for a minute.

He came back in, wrapped in a towel but still dripping wet. His body was tanned and well-muscled.

"Ray, what are you doing? Get bloody dressed!"

He flashed me one of his smiles, "I thought it'd be easier like this."

"Wh-" was all I got to before he leaned toward me and kissed me. It was just a quick brush of the lips, then he shifted his position and leaned closer to me, kissing me with more force. And what surprised me was that I was kissing him back, I felt as though it was something I'd always wanted to do, feel his lips against mine, his tongue against mine. His hand cupped my face and stroked my cheek. His other hand tickled my side as he caressed me. His hand slipped up my top and traced around my bra which made me moan a little...

"Neela?" I sat bolt upright and saw Ray, fully dressed, carrying to cups of coffee. "Are... you ok?"

"Um..." Apart from dying of embarrassment? Of course. What the hell had that been about? "Yeah... I must have just drifted off to sleep." I faked a yawn, "More tired than I thought."

He gave me a curious look, "You were moaning, and sort of... writhing."

"Um..." His face broke out into a grin, that kind of grin that only he could do without looking pervy.

"Oh, you were dreaming about a person weren't you! Michael right? Aw do you miss him that much?" He said, still grinning.

"I..." I considered which alternative was better. The truth- No I was dreaming about you, my room-mate or this tiny lie- I was dreaming about my boyfriend. Either was embarrassing but the latter slightly less so, "Yeah... he's been away a while."

He sat down next to me and handed me my coffee, "I understand, we all have our needs."

I drank my coffee, feeling myself burning up, I was _never _going to live this down.

"You what?" Abby said, spluttering. We were sitting in the Doctor's Lounge, and I'd been telling her about my dream over coffee.

"I... had a dream about him," I repeated.

"About _Ray? _Ray Barnett?" I just nodded. "God... Really?"

"Why would I lie?"

"I guess... it's just weird. I mean, I thought something weird was going on yesterday when you didn't come in but..."

"It's nothing serious!" I said, outraged. Then I shook my head and added, "It isn't even a thing because it was a stupid dream."

She nodded, "Yeah you're probably just horny."

I stood, open-mouthed. She laughed.

"Girls get sexual urges too."

"I... but..." I didn't really know what to say to that. "So what, this is just some weird fantasy?"

"I hope so," she replied, before walking out.

"Me too," I added, under my breath. I _so _did not need some sort of crush on Ray right now. I had enough of a crisis with Michael. Which reminded me, he'd written me a letter, informing he would be coming home next month. For a grand total of two nights and then he was off again. I put my head in my hands, what the hell was I going to do?

After my shift I had run through all possible ideas. I could dump Michael, or I could stay his supportive little girlfriend, hoping for a miracle. I'd briefly considered trying to persuade him to stay here but I knew that was never going to happen. Even if he wasn't required to go back, he would. He had his sense of duty, and sometimes that seemed to mean more to him than me. When I got home Ray was sitting on the sofa, strumming at a guitar.

"Hey Roomie," he called to me as I walked in, exhausted, both physically and mentally.

I only groaned in return. He flashed me a cheerful smile.

"Someone's happy."

"Why are you damned happy?"

He gave me a pervy wink, "A gentleman never kisses and tells."

"Oh shut up," I said, slumping down beside him.

"What's up with Neela-kins?" He asked, in a baby voice. I flashed him a glare. "Oh, get you! Seriously, what's up?"

"Relationship problems, as always."

"Yeah, I saw you got a letter," he said, sounding sincere and sympathetic. I don't think I'd really heard him being sympathetic before.

I turned to him, not quiet believing that I was asking him for advice, but I had nowhere else to turn. "Alright Michael's coming home in about a month."

"That's good isn't it?"

"Only for two days."

"Oh," he remained silent and waited for me to continue.

"So, I have to make a decision. Do I love him enough to stick through this, all his time in Iraq, I mean we only just started going out when he went, do we even have a proper relationship? Or am I just kidding myself."

"Ok, wait. So, you dump him, or you stick through it?"

"Um, yeah that kinda sums it up."

He considered for a minute, "Do you love him?"

"Yes... I think so, he's a wonderful person."

"I asked you whether you loved him. Mother Theresa was a wonderful person, but I wasn't in love with her."

"You're too damn clever to hide behind that jokey exterior."

"And you're getting away from the point. Do you love him."

"Honestly?" I asked, he nodded, "I just don't know. I don't feel like I actually know him."

"In some ways it doesn't matter. I mean, even if you do love him, or think you might grow to love him, that doesn't mean your going to be happy being his supportive little wife. I've not known you all that long but that doesn't seem like you Neela. You have your own life, your own things you want to do."

"I know... but I really like him, and I want to give it a chance."

He sighed, "Look, if you want two different things that aren't going to happen together -realistically, you have to chose which is more important to you. I can't help you with that though. You have to make that decision."

"I know, why is this so hard? Shouldn't I just know whether I love him enough?"

He shrugged and gave a smile, "I'm not the expert I'm afraid, in fact I can't believe you actually came to me with this."

I got up, heading for the shower, "I didn't have much choice," he pouted and broke out laughing. I walked out, shaking my head.


	6. Ray, Rumours

**A/N Thank you all for your lovely reviews. You are all so great, and this has to be my most reviewed story ever! Seriously! I would say so anyway... Great reviews, glad you like the story, keep on'a reading!**

Chapter 6- Ray

It's been a while since I'd seen Neela. I mean I'd _seen _her but we'd always been passing each other on the way out or in. It was probably just the new rota, but I began to think she was maybe avoiding me, since opening up in our last conversation. I thought I'd given her good enough advice. I shrugged and continued on my way to the drug lock-up. I was probably just being paranoid. I got that a lot, but only with Neela it seemed. Weird. When I got to the drug lock-up I saw something even weirder.

I walked in and saw a couple making out, extremely passionately. I was about to tell them they weren't allowed when I saw that they were familiar. My mind took a moment to figure out where I knew them, then I realised. It was Morris and Albright.

"Morris?" I said, in shock. Albright jumped, and pulled away from where she'd been pinning him to a shelf.

"Get off me Morris!" She shouted before leaving, extremely quickly. I looked behind me then back at Morris. He looked almost as shocked as I felt.

"She... you... what the hell?"

"I don't know," he replied simply.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

He shrugged, "It keeps happening. She'll just... pounce on me."

"And you let her?"

He gave me a wry grin, "Wouldn't you?"

I shrugged, then shook my head. "That is just too weird. Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why you two? You hate each other!"

"You and Neela used to hate each other."

"When? And how is that even similar?" I asked.

"Well, she used to hate you right?" Morris said, as if it was a known fact. "Everyone was totally shocked when she moved in with you, but then we realised."

"Realised what?" I said, still feeling like I was completely missing something.

"That you two had got it together. But it is a bit poor that you had to go for someone with a boyfriend. Can't you get your own girl?"

I stood with my open. "What?"

"You know... you and Neela." He seemed a little bewildered. "Are you saying that you two aren't..."

"No!"

"But..."

"We are just room-mates. Friends at most! God Morris. What the hell made you think that?"

He shrugged, "Everyone thought it."

I walked off, my thoughts in turmoil. Everyone thought me and Neela had been sleeping together. Everyone thought I'd been after her when she was going out with Gallant. Shit. And I hadn't realised she'd hated me. I knew I probably rubbed her up the wrong way, but I was like that with most people, and she was very pristine. My complete opposite, it was normal we hadn't gotten on at first. I went to the doctor's lounge and grabbed a cup of coffee. It tasted disgusting but it helped me concentrate. Abby walked in after me.

"Hey Ray," she said, going to the coffee.

"Does everyone think me and Neela are sleeping together?"

She looked at me. It wasn't a particularly good look, "Yeah, most people have kind of assumed that. I know better, because I talk to Neela. But it certainly looks that way sometimes."

"How? We're just friends! And that's only recently."

She shrugged, "I guess people just aren't used to a guy and a girl sharing when they're not... you know."

"But I look like a total bastard! I know she's going out with Gallant, I would never make a move on her."

"Would you if she wasn't with Michael?" She asked, an eyebrow raised.

"I... it never... crossed my mind. I knew she was off limits in that way, I just wanted to... you know, be a friend. Why?"

"No reason, I'm just trying to work out what you two really think about each other."

"Why, what's Neela said?" I asked, getting paranoid. "Does she still hate me?"

"No," she said with a smile, then she saw my look, "She never _hated _you. You pissed her off. Still do sometimes, but your like total opposites. She hasn't said anything to me, apart from complaining a little about your sleep overs and filth. Her words, not mine."

I sighed, "I'm inconsiderate right?"

Abby shrugged. "Perhaps. Sometimes. Yeah, you probably are."

"Thanks for being truthful," I said, wryly, before finishing my coffee.

"No problem. See you out there." She went out and left me on my own. All I could think was; shit.

When I got home I'd made a resolution to myself, I would talk to Neela about all this, and make sure I was more considerate. I really liked her, and didn't want to annoy her. She was my friend and she deserved better than me just getting my own way all the time. A little compromise never hurt anyone after all. She was in the kitchen when I got in, I dumped my bag and went in to see her. She was opening some take-away cartons.

"And they say I'm no good at cooking," she said, emptying a tub of noodles onto two plates, "Voilà!"

I smiled, "You read my mind."

"Any time Roomie. I'm not on till the morning so we have an evening of relaxation ahead of us!"

"Sounds good, I'll get the beer. You'll never guess who I saw in the lock-up today."

We were on our second beer, and had finished the take out when I decided to start Our Very Serious Conversation, as I'd named it. "Neela, I think we need to talk."

"God you sound serious," she said, with a raised eyebrow. "What's up?"

"Where do we stand?"

She burst out laughing, "You are such a girl! What are you on about?"

"I'm not a girl! I just mean... it was something Morris said today. Everyone think we're sleeping together."

"They what?" She exclaimed. I just shrugged. "Shit... why?"

"I don't know."

"So, why's that got you all... girly? I mean, crap that they think that but what do you... Oh my god, you think I fancy you."

"No, I didn't mean it like that."

"You do," she looked at my in disbelief, "You are so fucking big headed."

"I never thought that! I swear to you. No, I just... he also said you hated me when I first came here."

She blushed, "I never hated you. Hate is such a strong word."

"When I talked to Abby she said you complained about me being inconsiderate."

"I think I need a word with Abby."

"Don't avoid the question, do you hate my Neela?" I asked, sincerely.

"No, god Ray, of course I don't hate you. I wouldn't be living with you if I hated you. Yes, I'll admit you get on my nerves quite a lot, but most of the time you're sweet."

"I'm sorry."

"What for?" She asked.

"For being an inconsiderate jerk," I replied simply.

"Apology accepted," she said with a smile, "Can we go back to being Roomie's again now, and plot how we're going to get around these rumours."

I smiled, "The only way to stop a rumour is to start another, bigger one."

She grinned, "Did you hear about Morris and Albright in the lock-up?"

"And the doctor's lounge I've heard." I gave an evil grin, "This is going to be _so _fun."


	7. Neela, Last Stop

**A/N Heyla! Thanks for all your great reviews. You're all lovely!

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Chapter 7- Neela

"Hey Neela, did you hear about Kovac and Abby?" Ray asked me when I passed him in the corridor of the ER. I frowned;

"No, why what's happened?"

"You'll never guess," he said with a big grin, "I saw them in exam room 2."

"Your point is?"

He looked at me as if I was stupid, "I saw them... together... in exam 2," he repeated slowly, and suddenly I got what he was saying.

"You are kidding me!" I said, gasping.

"I must have a gift for finding these things or something."

"Oh my god! I have to find Abby," I said, grinning.

I walked off and found her grabbing a couple of charts. "Here, you can have this one," she said, handing me the chart of a three year old with belly pains. I followed her down the corridor.

"So, how are you?" I asked.

"Fine," she said, looking at me as if I was crazy.

"And how's Luka?"

"Why don't you ask him?" Was it just me or did she sound wary.

"Oh, it's just Ray was telling me that..."

"What did Barnett say?" She asked, pulling me over to the wall.

"Just something about you, Luka, exam room 2."

"Shit." She looked at me and added, "Nothings going on."

"Isn't what it sounds like," I said, grinning, "How come you didn't tell me you had a thing going?"

"We don't! One thing led to another and... I don't know... we've just made out a few times. No big deal."

"The look on your face tells me you're lying!"

"Nothing is going on, alright?" She said, slightly fiercely.

"Alright, but if you ever want to talk about nothing, I'm here ok?" I said, before walking off to see my patient.

Ray and I were on the same shift so we got the L back together. I leaned against him, and he leaned against me. "I'm just so tired," I said, closing my eyes.

"Me too," he replied, stifling a yawn. The next thing I knew there was a guy in uniform standing over us.

"Last stop, you have to get off here."

I sat up and rubbed my eyes, "What?"

"Last stop," he said, before walking away.

"Shit." I nudged Ray and he woke with a start. "Ray we missed our stop!"

"What?"

"We missed our stop!"

"Oh... great," he muttered, following me off the train. We stood on the platform of an unknown station in the dark. It was bloody freezing. Ours had been the last train to stop here.

"What are we going to do? I don't have any money for a cab."

"Me either." He seemed to think for a minute. "We'll have to walk."

"We don't know how far away we are, and it's freezing!"

"Do you have any better ideas?" I shook my head, "Come on then, we'll warm up as we walk." He offered me his hand and I took it as we walked down the steps.

It was a lie that we'd warm up, we ended up completely and utterly freezing. We took turns with what sides we walked on, so we could swap which hands we held. The other one would get cold almost instantly, no matter how far I pushed it into my pocket. Even though we were completely different heights we were oddly the right heights for holding hands. My nose was the most cold, and I'm sure it was red.

Every now and then we'd stop and ask where we were, but most of the time it was meaningless as neither of us had really gotten to know Chicago. It was just a case of walking along the main street and hoping we would come to somewhere we knew. After what felt like hours, but was only forty five minutes of walking, the wind cutting into our faces Ray stopped and pulled us into a shop doorway.

"That's it, I can't bear this any more." I wondered what he was going to do, then he pulled his mobile, I mean cellphone of course, from out of his jacket pocket. It was an old model, and looked like it had taken it's fair share of batterings, but I was ecstatic to see it.

"Why didn't you phone someone before?"

"With this? Plus I thought'd only be a quick walk." He dialled a number in and held it to his ear. "Come on, come on, answer damn it," he muttered then said with relief, "Sam is that you?"

Sam was a member of Ray's band, the bass player if I wasn't mistaken.

"Hey dude, how glad am I that you picked up, I'm freezing, can you come pick me up? I'm on," he craned out onto the street, and said the name of the street before flipping the mobile closed. He grinned at me, "He's coming with the van."

"Thank goodness!" I said, before cupping my hands and breathing into them.

When Ray had said van, I had stupidly assumed he meant some sort of mini-van, with a couple of rows of seats. But of course, Sam's van really was a van, with three front seats and a large space in the back which had a number of boxes in it, some cans of paint and a drum kit. There were already a couple of people in the front and back, so me and Ray had to climb in the back. I perched awkwardly on a metal toolbox, while Ray sat next to me on the floor.

"We were going to Indigo, fancy coming?" Sam asked, craning back, with a smile, "It'll definitely warm you up."

Ray looked at me and I shrugged, "Sure," he said. Sam nodded and turned back to the front, before pushing the accelerator to the floor. I slid off the toolbox and landed in Ray's lap. Everyone laughed at my shocked face. "Don't worry, I've got better balance than you," he said, tucking his arms around me.

We arrived at Indigo, which was a newly opened club with a really long line. But we just walked in, past the bouncer.

"We play here," Ray said. I nodded and handed my coat to the check-in girl She gave me a ticket which I stuck in my trouser pocket. I suddenly felt very over dressed. Ray had one of his metal t-shirts on, as always, and everyone else was dressed similarly, in jeans or skirts. I'd been dressed for work, in a blue shirt and black pants. Ray gave me a smile and led me into the main room of the club. There was a stage at the far end, but it was empty. The bar ran along the left of the room and the rest of the room was filled with bodies, all dancing to the thumping music the dj was playing. It seemed to be one of the songs Ray played, rocky, but with the bass turned way up. Sam had been right saying it'd warm us up, it was boiling in here.

"Do you want a drink?" Ray asked, I nodded, and he pulled me through the crowd to the bar. "What'll it be?" He shouted over the music.

I thought for a while then gave the easy answer, "Beer please."

"Girl after my own heart," he said with a smile, "Not too many don't want you getting flu again though!" He said with a laugh.

I ended up having quite a good night, much to my own surprise. We'd had a couple of beers, danced a bit and just generally had a laugh. Sam and the rest were all nice and Ray was charming as usual. It was the kind of fun I hadn't had for ages, the kind where you're just hanging out with some nice people, getting a little drunk. When we got home we were both slightly tipsy and a bit giggly. Ray headed to the shower first and I went into my room to get my pyjamas.

I looked in the mirror to see my black hair all mussed up, my eyes shining. I didn't look too bad I thought to myself. Next to my mirror was a calender, with a red circle around next Saturday. Michael was home in less than a week and I still hadn't made a decision as to what to do. Night's like tonight really didn't help, I'd be so close to making up my mind and then I'd have a great time with Ray and realise how brilliant it would be to have a boyfriend who was in the same city as me, that I could hang out with and have fun with. And then the little voice in the back of my head would wonder if that was because I wanted Michael to stay at home, or whether it was Ray I really wanted. I shook my head and went into the living room. T.v would cure such thoughts.

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**A/N I thought this was quite a sweet chapter, what did you guys think? Please tell me with your lovely reviews! And I hope you don't mind the mix of British and American things, I thought Neela would pick stuff up, living over there. But all my knowledge is from films, books and t.v so if there are any mistakes, I'm sorry!**


	8. Ray, Love Nests

**A/N Hi, this is really a continuation of the last chapter, though obviously from Ray's POV

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Chapter 8- Ray

I was in the kitchen, making coffee when Neela came out of the shower. I went into the corridor to see if she wanted some and saw her walking in just her bra and pants. I stopped walking, amazed by what I saw. She was so... sexy. The black bra and panties set really suited her dark skin and was almost the same colour as her hair. I'd always known she was curvy, but I'd never really seen her emphasise it as she was always in work stuff, or sweats when I saw her.

"I forgot my pj's," she said, as way of explanation.

"Um... yeah... I just wondered if you wanted some coffee?" I managed to ask, my mouth dry.

"Oh yes please, thanks," she said, before hurriedly walking to her room, obviously embarrassed. Not as much as I was though. I didn't realise until that moment how much I liked the way Neela looked, I'd always admired her before because of her personality and intelligence, now I realised she was beautiful too. God, I didn't stand a chance.

As I walked into the lounge I tried to mentally shake myself out of it. There was no guy alive that wouldn't like the sight of Neela in her underwear, unless he was blind. Just because I thought she was nice looking didn't mean I felt any differently to her than before. She was my room-mate, my friend, and I didn't want her to be anything more. I was sure. Then she came padding through, barefoot, wearing one of my t-shirts and a pair of shorts. This sight caused more shivers to go up my spine than before. Sure, what guy wouldn't like seeing her underwear, but why the hell would her in my t-shirt make me want to grab her and kiss her, it didn't make sense. Unless I felt something more... which I didn't. I was sure.

"Sorry about that, I'm such an idiot," she said as she sat down and took a sip of coffee, "Ah warmth and caffeine, what more could a girl ask for?"

I gave a small chuckle, "Yeah... definitely."

She looked at me with raised eyebrows, then nodded to the blank screen, "We watching anything?"

"Um yeah," I said flicking it on with the remote. "Hey Neela, is that my t-shirt."

She looked down at herself, "Oh yeah, sorry do you mind? It's just comfy to sleep in."

"No," I said, my mouth dry again, "I don't mind at all."

* * *

"Hey Barnett," Frank said as I walked into the ER the next morning. "Pratt's looking for you."

I raised my eyebrows at him but went to look for Doctor Pratt. He was examining a patient, "Frank said you wanted to see me?"

"Yeah, but it isn't urgent, go get your coat off and I'll see you in there."

I nodded and walked to the Doctor's Lounge. Once I had put my lab coat on Pratt came in too. "So what's up?"

"You know Gallant's coming home next week?"

I nodded, Neela had mentioned it.

"Well, I was thinking it'd be nice to give him and Neela some space, you know." I nodded again, a smile spreading over my face.

"You want me to stay out of the apartment so they can have a little love nest?"

"Yeah, but you have a weird turn of phrasing."

I grinned, "Sure."

"Well, I thought you could stay at mine, if you needed. I know we don't know each other that well, but I got beer and the number to the local pizza delivery service."

"Sounds good," I said, smiling and leaving the room. I wasn't sure how I felt about it to be honest, but it wasn't really my choice. Gallant and Neela would want some time to themselves and I really didn't want to be there while they were all loved up. It would just make me feel weird. I wasn't sure if that was because of my newly realised feelings for Neela or whether that's what anyone would feel and I couldn't exactly ask. Everyone here had known Gallant long before I had come, or even Neela, and everyone thought they were the perfect little couple. I knew Neela had doubts, but I was sure she felt really strongly about him. It wasn't my place to feel anything for her, she didn't need anything else apart from a friend and that's what I'd be for her.

"Ray, get your butt over here!" Abby shouted, running for the doors.

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**A/N Hey, I know this was short, but hopefully it was sweet and the next bit obviously needs to be Neela as we have the return of Gallant! What will happen... review and I may write it!**


	9. Neela, I love you

**A/N Hey there, funky readers! You rock. That is all I have to say! Oh, and hope you enjoy the chapter.

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Chapter 9- Neela

Tonight was the night. Michael was coming home, he'd be arriving at the ER at five. Then we'd spend sometime here, my shift finished at six and we'd go home to my empty apartment. Empty because Ray had decided to give us space and was bunking at Pratt's for a few nights. And I still hadn't made a decision. I just didn't know what to do, I wanted to be there for Michael, I needed to support him, I knew I shouldn't be selfish. But I didn't know if I could cope with the waiting. I didn't know if I could cope with being the second priority. Perhaps I _was _selfish, all I knew was I wanted my boyfriend's attentions on me, I wanted him to be thinking of me. But I couldn't say that to him, because I knew he did think of me. I knew that he would say that I'm the only thing keeping him going, but I knew that wasn't true. And it wasn't what I wanted. Because I knew that tonight, while he was home, all his attentions would be on me, I would be the only one he wanted. I wanted that as a forever, not a temporary though. I shook my head, my own train of thought was confusing me. There were too many buts, too many things I thought I knew, or thought I felt. I just couldn't work out which I felt more.

"Excuse me, are you alright?" I looked back up to my patient, someone I was meant to be giving a couple of butterfly stitches too. But I'd just paused in mid-air and mid-thought. Shit, I thought to myself, another but, they seemed to be haunting me today.

"Oh yes, sorry about that," I replied. The teenage girl smiled at me.

"Thinking too much?"

"God yeah. Way too much."

"I know the feeling. Talking helps sometimes," she said, "I mean not to me, but someone who knows the situation... or whatever."

"Yeah, but how am I meant to explain what I think to them when I can't to myself," I said with a laugh.

"Sometimes that's how you find the answer, by trying to explain the question."

"What a profound statement," I said.

"It's my instant messenger nickname at the minute, I found it on some website. It's true though."

"Thanks."

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I was walking along the corridor when I felt strong arms encircle me from behind. Hands covered my eyes and a familiar voice said; "Guess who?"

I turned and hugged him, breathing in his scent of shampoo and soap, he'd obviously just had a shower. "Michael," I breathed. I realised then how much I'd missed him and how worried I'd been that he wouldn't come back. I knew I loved him.

He gave a chuckle, "You pleased to see me?"

I leaned against his chest, he was so much taller than me. He was muscled and I could feel that through the t-shirt he was wearing. I looked up at him, smiling. He was good looking in a way that grew once you got to know him. I mean, when I first met him I hadn't thought he was stunning, but I could see he was handsome. As I spent time with him, he just got better.

"I missed you so much."

"I missed you too," he replied. We stood apart, but he held my hand, as if he needed to be touching me. I clutched his back. Shit, this was only getting more complicated. We walked to the main desk and everyone we passed would give him a hug, or a manly nod. But he held my hand the whole time.

Pratt was at the desk, and only then did Michael let go of me to stride towards his friend. They hugged for a while, obviously relieved to see each other. "Hey man," was all they said.

Pratt turned to me, "Hey Neela. If you see Ray, tell him I'll wait in the lounge for him when we get off."

"Ok," I noticed Michael's curious expression, "Ray's staying at Pratt's to give us some space," I added with a smile.

"Oh right, thanks man," he said to Pratt.

"No problem, look I better get going."

"Sure. And we have to go out for drinks tomorrow, if that's alright with Neela?"

"Sure," I said, there wasn't much else I could say.

"Alright then," Pratt said, nodding and then walking off. "It was really good to see you."

"When do you get off?" Michael asked me.

I glanced at my watch, "Well, since you're late, fifteen minutes."

"Yeah I'm sorry about that, I had to have a shower first. Do you think Kovac would let you out early?"

Luka, who was passing, said "Of course he would." He smiled at us, and waved towards the door. "Bye."

"Thanks Luka," I said with a grin. I saw Ray on my way to get my coat. "Hey Ray, Pratt said he'd wait for you in the lounge when you get off."

"Cool," he said. "You getting off early?"

"Yeah," I said, blushing slightly, it was the look in his eyes that did it I think. I wasn't sure what it was, but it made me feel embarrassed.

"Have fun," he said, walking off. He turned back and winked at me and my face burned.

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Michael and I got to the door of the apartment talking, we'd been talking all the way home, about the smallest things. I was updating him on my life, on the things I'd done since I'd last seen him. The things he would have known if he'd been here. It was as I fished for my keys in my pocket that I found I was angry. Angry that he'd left me, and forced me to make this decision. I was so angry that tears came to my eyes. I opened the door and walked quickly inside, trying to wipe them away before he saw them. But he tugged on my hand, turning me to face him.

"Neela," he said, in an almost whisper. He cupped my face in his hands and swept his thumbs across my cheeks, wiping away my tears. Then he kissed me gently on the lips, just a slight pressure. Then he kissed me harder, forcing my lips to part. We walked backwards, still kissing, to my bedroom where we sat on the bed. When we pulled apart he smiled at me, "Don't cry Neela, I love you and I've missed you. But I'm home now."

He leaned in to kiss me again, and I wanted to kiss him back, but I said instead; "For how long Michael?"

"What do you mean?" He asked, his forehead creasing slightly.

"I love you too, but I can't do this any more."

"Neela, what can't you do?" His tone was urgent. He looked at my face. "Please... don't do this."

"I don't have a choice. I don't want to be the second best in your life."

"You're not, I love you more than anyone, I think about you constantly," then he added, as I'd known he would, "Thinking of you helps me through."

"Please don't guilt trip me Michael. I feel terrible enough as it is."

"I'm not," he said, "I would never,"

I interrupted him, "I know. I know you would never mean to. But somehow you are, I feel terrible about the way I'm feeling because I want us to be together so much. I just want us to be together."

"We are together, we're together now."

"I want us to be together all the time, I want to go places with you, see you in work everyday, live with you even. I want us to be a proper couple. And we can't be when you're in the Army. And you're always going to be in the Army."

"Neela, are you asking me to choose between you and the Army? Because I can't do that."

"No I'm not, I've already made the choice." And I had. I knew I had to do this, because whether I lived to regret it or not, at least I would be living through my mistake rather than waiting for my life to start.

"I'll only be on duty another year, two at the most."

"A year is a long time."

"I know that!" He was almost shouting, and he'd never shouted at me. I must have flinched or something because he touched my arm, "I'm sorry, I just don't understand... you say you want us to be together but it sounds as though you're splitting up with me."

"I don't want to Michael, but I have to, I can't live with another year of waiting. I'm sick of waiting, of having my life put on hold."

"Please Neela." He took my hand, "Don't do this."

Tears were still running down my cheeks. "I'm sorry. I think you'd better leave."

He had tears in his eyes too, "I love you Neela."

"I know. I love you too. But it just isn't right," I said, trying to stop my voice from cracking.

He nodded and bit his lip. Then he dropped my hand and walked out of the room. I heard the front door close. I fell onto my pillows, sobbing. I hoped to God that I hadn't just made the biggest mistake of my life, because it sure felt that way.

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**A/N Well, I had to stop there because I was getting all teary, but what do you think? Did I pull off the sadness and confusion ok? And do you think it was realistic? Please tell me all your views (as long as they're in a constructive form I won't be offended) in your reviews! Thanks.**


	10. Ray, Interuptions

**A/N Hey there, groovy readers. Ah I love you all. I really do. You're so fantabulous! This is quite a short chapter, but sweet me thinks so... hope you enjoy! Please review!**

Chapter 10-Ray

I was eating pizza when I realised I had left my guitar back at the apartment, and I had a band rehearsal tomorrow. I didn't want to interrupt whatever Neela and Gallant had going on, but I needed my guitar.

"Hey, is it alright if I use my phone. I need to go and get my guitar from the apartment but I want to make sure I'm not... interrupting anything," I asked Pratt.

"Sure," he replied. I got up and went to the phone. The answer phone picked it up, I listened to Neela's formal message with a smile, "Hey Neela, it's Ray. I'm just wondering when it would be ok to come and pick up my guitar, I need it for tomorrow, so if you just call me at..."

"Ray?" She interrupted me by picking up the phone.

"Oh hi, I didn't think you'd pick up."

"I... did it."

"Did what?" I asked with a frown, she sounded really serious and kind of upset.

"I broke up with Michael."

"Oh... really?"

"No I'm bloody joking."

"Sorry... I just didn't think you would. I mean I saw you two today and I thought you'd made up your mind... the other way."

She was silent on the other end of the phone. Then I heard a knock at the door, at this end. Pratt got up to answer it. I guessed it was probably Gallant.

"Look, Neela, I'd better go, but I'll come round soon ok?"

"Ok," she said, sounding miserable. I hung up just as Pratt led Gallant in.

"What's wrong?" He was asking.

"She broke up with me," Gallant answered, he sounded as bad as Neela. Then he looked at me.

"I just spoke to her, I'm really sorry man," I said. He glared at me.

"Why the hell were you speaking to her? You're just her room-mate. Or do you want to be more, is that it? Was it you who put this idea in her head?" He started walking towards me.

"No, of course not," I began to say, but he punched me, I stumbled backwards and put my hand to my lip, it was bleeding. "Shit," I muttered, it hurt like hell.

Pratt grabbed him, "Michael, what the hell?"

Gallant slid down the wall till he was sitting on the floor, his knees against his chest. Tears were running down his cheeks. "I'm sorry... I don't know what... I didn't mean to, I just don't want her to... shit shit shit."

"That's alright," I said, wiping blood away form my face. "Look, I'll go and... get my guitar."

Pratt nodded to me, "Alright, see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, um, bye." I made my way out of the apartment. My face was still stinging, and I felt really guilty. Because truth be told, I'd wanted Neela to break up with Gallant. I couldn't lie to myself, I really liked her. And I didn't want her to be upset either, and she had seemed upset before, when she talked to me about him. Now though, I wasn't sure, because she seemed a hell of a lot more upset. GodIwas so fucking confused.

I opened the door with my key and went to look for her. She was sitting on the sofa staring at a blank screen. "Neela?"

She turned to face me, her eyes red and still full of tears. "The remote's not working."

I switched the television on at the wall, it flared into life.

"Oh."

I grabbed a blanket and sat next to her, pulling it round her. "You want anything?"

"Did I make the right decision?"

"I don't know Neela, only you can know that. But, it took a lot of courage to do what you did, and I don't think you would have done that lightly. So... yeah I think you probably did."

She leaned against me, her head on my shoulder. She turned the T.V over to the Classic Movie Channel, Audrey Hepburn stepped out of a cab, "It's Breakfast at Tiffany's, do you mind?"

"No, whatever you want to watch."

"Thank you."

She didn't last more than five minutes before she fell asleep, but I didn't change the channel. It wasn't my kind of film, but I thought I'd watch it anyway. I watched our scene, the "doing things you've never done" and had to laugh to myself. When Holly and Paul kissed for the first time I had to turn it over. There was some motorbike programme on. Good manly stuff that'd take my mind off the beautiful girl sleeping next to me. Because I still wasn't allowed to like her, she'd just broken up with her boyfriend and was devastated. I was not allowed to have feelings for her, she was my room-mate and colleague and it was way too complicated. But I couldn't stop myself.

**A/N So, what thought you? Review please!**


	11. Neela, Bathing

**A/N Hello my fine readers! Aren't you great, I love you all, and I especially love your lovely reviews. So here's another chapter for you all!**

Chapter 11- Neela

I woke up when I felt Ray getting up. "Sorry," he said, "I'm just getting coffee, you want some?"

I nodded. I felt like crap. My neck was stiff and my hair was sticking up at all angles. I must look such a state. _Why do you care? _A little voice inside me said. _I just do!_ Was my reply, before firmly blocking the voice out. God, now I was talking to myself, I must be crazy. I got up to go to the kitchen and passed the phone, there were 11 new messages. 11?

I went a pressed the button, "Neela, it's Michael, can we talk please?"

"Neela, please, I just want to talk to you."

"Look, I'm only here a few days, one meeting can't hurt can it?"

"Please Neela."

"Neela, we need to talk, we can't leave it like this."

"Please can we meet Neela, I can't bear this any more."

"Neela. I love you. Please talk to me."

I looked to Ray who was poking his head out of the kitchen. "Are they all like this?"

He nodded, and I pressed the delete button. He came out with two cups of coffee and handed me one. "Don't you think you should meet with him?"

I sighed, "Would you?"

"Would I meet with my very recently ex-boyfriend... hmm," he said, with a smile.

"Shut-up, you know what I mean."

"Sorry, I'm just trying to get you to smile. I think you should meet with him, just to say goodbye, he's leaving in a couple of days right, and you'll hate yourself if you don't even say goodbye."

"You're right, as usual. Damn you."

"Have some coffee, then call him," he said with a smile.

Two hours later I had made an arrangement to meet with Michael the next day, and I'd locked my bedroom door. "I'm not coming out," I said, in reply to Ray's knocking.

"Fine, but I'll get you out tomorrow! Right now I have to go to my rehearsal. We have a gig at the end of the week, hey you should come!"

"I don't think so Ray. Bye."

"Bye," he called jovially, "I'll see you in a few!"

"No you won't!" I replied. I knew it was stupid and childish, locking myself in, but I couldn't bear to face him. He kept trying to cheer me up, and I just wanted to wallow in my own self pity. Michael had been the perfect guy for me, I'd realised that now. He was hard working, ambitious, kind, everything I could ever have dreamed of. But somehow it wasn't good enough for me. And I still couldn't work out why, I just knew it wasn't. I had realised that wasn't the life I wanted any more, I didn't want to get married and settle into a routine. I wanted some fun, and romance. For some reason Michael and I had skipped that part, perhaps because he'd been going to war, but we'd just started going out and then suddenly we were in love. It just wasn't what I wanted.

The next day I heard a small knock on the door and pulled the duvet off my head. "Go away."

"I do believe it's tomorrow. And I said I'd get you out. I've got a bath ready and it has bubbles and everything."

"Forget it, I'm not going. Tell Michael I'm sick or something."

"I'm not lying for you Neela, get up, or I'm getting you up."

I laughed, "And how are you going to do that."

"You'll see." There was a pause and then I heard a tiny sound of metal on metal. Then the door sprung open and Ray was kneeling on the floor, holding a piece of wire and grinning. "Told you."

"You may have got in but you're not getting me out."

He came over and tried to pick me up, I grabbed the bed. "Give it up Rasgotra."

"Never." Then he started tickling me, and I had no choice but to let go, "Put me down, Ray," I shouted as he slung me over his shoulder in a fire-man's lift.

"Never," he said, mimicking me. He carried me through to the bathroom and plonked me on the floor. "Ok, there you go," he said, breathing heavily.

"I'm not getting in there."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm," he interrupted me by lifting me up again and dunking me into the tub, still wearing my pyjamas. I screamed and before he could straighten up I pulled him in after me. Unlike me, he went in head first and went completely under, he came up spluttering as I laughed.

"Oh you're so for it now," he said threateningly, grinning.

"What you going to do about it Barnett?"

He pulled me legs and I slipped under, when I came up he grinned and said, "That."

It was then I realised we were in a bath together. His hair was slicked down, with bubbles in it, and his black t-shirt was stuck to him. I swallowed, "You win."

"What?"

"You win. You go time out of my room and into the bath. Perhaps not the most usual methods, but you did."

"I told you I would," he said with a smile. "You going to have a proper bath now?"

"Yeah I guess, since I'm soaked already."

"I shall bid you adieu then fair lady." He got up, and the water dripping off him rained all over me, soaking me once more, "Sorry." Then he grabbed a towel, and walked out, closing the door behind him.

Two and a half hours after sharing a bath with my room-mate I was having coffee with my ex-boyfriend. Well, I was actually having tea, but you get the point. He looked as bad as I felt, I mean he looked fine, he'd shaved and everything- he hadn't fallen so far he couldn't get up, but I could tell he'd been crying. It broke my heart to sit there with him, it really did.

"Neela," he said eventually, "Can't we give it one more chance. I can change, if that's what you want."

"Michael," I sighed, "I don't want you to change, you're perfect. It's our relationship that isn't. I don't know how to explain it but... it just isn't what I want."

He nodded, "What went wrong?"

I smiled slightly, "Nothing. It just... doesn't feel right. Don't you feel the same way?"

He began to nod again then shook his head, "I'm sorry Neela, I don't, I really don't. I thought it was perfect... but I respect you-and myself- enough not to fight for it when I can see the look in your eyes. We can still be friends though, I know it's clichéd, but I'd like it."

"Of course, can I still write to you? I'll update you on the ER."

He smiled, "Sure." Then he got up, "I'm going to meet Greg. I'll talk to you soon ok?" He bent down and kissed my cheek, then left. I was left staring into my empty cup.

* * *

**A/N Grins so, what did you guys think? I liked it... hehehe- the bath scene especially! Tell me all in your reviews!**


	12. Ray, Lines

**A/N Hello you funktastic ones! How are you all? Good I hope! I'm alright-ish. I just watched the episode (season finale) called 21 guns... so I'm still in shock. I'm not going to talk about it incase people have seen it, hopefully you won't get annoyed by me saying it's a great episode, because you knew it would have to be! **

**Anyway, with the last chapter I was hoping to get a total count of over 50 reviews (we were on 46 or so) but now we are almost at 60! So many readers! I am so so so glad you guys like this and review and for all those who aren't reviewers, glad you like reading!**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter... sorry it was so long in coming, I was waiting for some information which I ended up just making up, it doesn't make much of a difference actually... anyway! God, I keep going off the point. Here ya go.**

Chapter 12- Ray

I was completely surprised when, as I called out a goodbye, Neela came out of her room dressed in dark blue jeans and a white, sort of flowy top. Her hair was in curls and she tipped her head and gave me a smile. "I thought you said I could come along."

I stood, with my mouth open, trying to think of something witty to reply. "Sure," was all I could manage.

She followed me down the stairs and out to Sam's van, me lugging my guitar on my back. I was just wearing a black t-shirt and jeans, but wished I'd dressed up a bit now. We climbed into the back and Sam called from the driver's seat, "Alright Neela, didn't know you were coming tonight."

"Nice to see you," a girl called from the front seat. I think it was Sam's girlfriend, but I hadn't really been keeping up with them recently. I felt a bit guilty actually, but I'd been busy with work and to be honest I loved just hanging out with Neela, rather than spending all night out at some club. Gigs were a different matter though.

"Yeah, nice to see you too," Neela said politely, before sitting down next to me on the floor. As the van pulled away she grabbed hold of my arm to stop herself falling over.

"So Ray, you up to coming to California?" Brett was asking.

"When? No-one told me about it."

"Oh, well we might be able to get a gig there in a couple of weeks."

"I'll have to check my schedule..." I said with a sigh. Weaver would kill me if she knew I was taking more time off.

"I'll cover for you if you want," Neela said with a smile.

"See, that's why you get a girlfriend you work with," Sam said with a smile.

Me and Neela looked at each other, "No we're not," we said at the same time.

Everyone simply looked at us with raised eyebrows.

When we got into the club I put my guitar on stage then headed back to Neela to get us some drinks. We both got a beer, then went to sit with the others. She squeezed into a space between Brett and another girl, when they offered it, and I perched on a stool.

Sam said, "We're on in half an hour, ok?"

"Cool," I said, watching Neela and Brett talking out of the corner of my eye. "What set we doing?" I asked, trying not to seem distracted.

"We're starting with..." Sam began to explain but I wasn't really listening. I already knew what we were playing -I was a professional after all. Well, sorta.

"Yeah, Ray made me listen to them one time," Neela was saying with a wide smile. She seemed really happy to be out. I guess it took her mind off Gallant or whatever. She turned to me, "You did right?"

"Who?" I asked, smiling that she'd included me. I felt like an idiot, but I couldn't help being jealous when she wasn't talking to me. And I couldn't help noticing how the curls in her hair lightly touched her shoulder, the black and white totally contrasting. And the gleam in her eyes as she told some story. Then I realised she was talking about me again, and I smiled once more.

It was all too soon that we were up on stage, and I felt a sudden surge of nerves that I hadn't had for years. It was like I was a teenager all over again, what an idiot. But of course, as before, as soon as we started playing I lost myself in the music, hearing only the songs and the occasional _whoop _from the crowd. I looked up a few times but couldn't make out anyone in particular, because of the lights. Then I looked up and saw her near the front, bobbing along and smiling at me. She looked different from everyone else, and stood out- but in a good way, a way I would never be able to explain. She gave me a wave and I smiled at her. I began concentrating even more on my guitar, I wanted to sound good, I wanted to impress her. It was stupid, egotistical, but I wanted her to think I was good. I just couldn't help it.

"Thank you!" I shouted into mic, as I finished singing the last song in the set. "You've been great."

I unplugged my guitar, and put it in it's case then jumped off the side of the stage. There was a small group of women there, early twenties. "Hi Ray!" One of them called, and I'd never seen her before.

"Um hi," I replied, trying to squeeze passed them.

"We love your band," another one breathed, putting her hand on my arm. I carefully peeled it off.

"Thank you, can I get passed please?"

"Aw, don't you want to talk to us for a minute?" The first one asked.

"Um, I'd love to, but I have to go and see my friend." I'd had fans crowding me before, but they'd usually move when I asked them. These ones seemed slightly... creepy. Then one of them bustled to the side, as if she'd been pushed a little, and in her place stood Neela, smiling at me.

"You ok, Barnett?" She asked, with a grin.

"Yeah, of course," I replied, smiling at her in return. She came and took my hand, leading me out of the circle of women, amongst mutters of "bitch" and "who does she thinks she is?"

When we got to the table and sat down, she passed me a bottle of beer and then clinked it against her own, "Cheers, great gig."

"Thanks, and thanks for before. I'm just too irresistible for some people," I said, shaking my head.

She laughed, "Somehow I don't think so, Barnett."

"You know you find my charm irresistible," I joked.

She laughed again, throwing back her head. "You wish." I laughed too.

She nudged me and I nudged her back. We were sitting on a sofa, just nudging each other and finding it really funny, I had a slight suspicion we were slightly tipsy. "You're a bad influence on me," she said, "I'm ever so slightly drunk."

"Me? The influence on you? I think you'll find it's the other way round Roomie."

She scoffed, "I say again, you wish."

She smiled at my, and I found myself unable to find a witty reply, I couldn't do anything but look at her. She was so beautiful. She was looking up at me with her dark brown eyes, and I remembered what some guys in high school had said about brown eyes being easier to "fall into". I totally agreed now. She moved towards me and I moved down to her, so we were millimetres away from touching. I wanted so badly to close that gap, but I pulled away instead.

"You're right. I'm a bad influence on you."

She sat back in her seat. "Yeah..."

I tried to explain, "I was the re-bound guy in college once. It hurt like hell when I realised she still loved him. I don't want to..."

"I understand, it's fine," she said, interrupting me, "I told you, I'm just a bit tipsy."

"Oh." I didn't know what else to say. The meaning was obvious, she was drunk and regretted ever getting that close to me. That was fine, we were friends, room-mates, colleagues. That was it. Some lines you just don't cross, as I'd realised here tonight.

**A/N So? Please review and tell me all!**


	13. Neela, flashback

**A/N Have I told you recently that I love you? Probably, because you all rock! Seriously, so many reviews, and they're all so lovaly! Thank you so much!**

**The bits in italics are either quotes from previous chapters or flashbacks, btw.**

Chapter 13- Neela

Shit, shit, shit. I was an idiot, a stupid idiot. Why did I have to be so... I can't believe what I almost did. I almost kissed him. I wanted to so badly. I'd split up with Michael for what? Four days? And I was already to make a move on Ray. I am such an idiot. He was kind enough about it I guess, but actions speak louder than words, as they say, and the fact that I've hardly seen him recently has definitely made me get the point. It's been two weeks since I saw him playing (God he looked so good, he was so wrapped up in the music... shut-up Neela!) and we're suddenly on different shifts, he's even been spending more time with Brett and everyone. It's weird, I hadn't noticed but recently we've been spending more time together and he hardly ever has the guys round, it's something I'd always wanted but now I'd prefer even that to this... nothing. I'd rather see him with some girl than not see him at all. No, I'm lying, that would cut me up inside, I don't think I could face it. It was bad enough seeing that group of women crowding round him after the show.

"Shit," I muttered to myself as I slumped against the lockers. I had no idea what to do. He obviously wanted no more than to be my friend and I'd ruined that by trying to push the boundaries. What he'd said had been weird though;

"_I was the re-bound guy in college once. It hurt like hell when I realised she still loved him. I don't want to..."_

I was interrupted from my reverie by the entrance of Abby. "Hi Neela. God, what's up with you, you look like that coffee machine holds the answers to the meaning of life."

I realised I'd walked across the room without even noticing. "Yeah, I'm just feeling a little distracted at the minute."

"Oh, what's up?"

"Nothing, nothing," I replied, shaking my head. She looked at me curiously but shrugged.

"Well, I have something to tell you, me and Luka have decided we're officially dating. We've been open to the rumour mill for too long and we want to set things straight."

I couldn't help grinning, Luka and Abby were extremely sweet together, but it'd taken them a while to realise it. "I'm so glad, I didn't know how long I could cope without banging your heads together."

"I could say the same thing about you and Ray."

The smile dropped from my face, she must have noticed because she added;

"Neela, I'm sorry it's just I know how much you like each other. At least, it seems like you do."

"We're just friends," I said, stonily.

"Neela, what's wrong? You haven't been acting like yourself recently. And you and Ray seem all..."

I sighed, "We've kind of fallen out. Sort of. I mean, we haven't technically, but I think he's avoiding me."

"Why?" She asked, frowning.

"Because I'm an idiot who can't resist her urges." She looked at me blankly and I added, "I almost kissed him."

She opened her mouth in a gleeful look of surprise, "Really?" I nodded. "Well Doctor Rasgotra. I never."

"I feel so stupid now though... I don't know what I was thinking."

"You like the guy, just admit it to yourself then you can get on admitting it to him."

"He's made it pretty clear he doesn't like me, we hardly see each other now."

"He's probably just as embarrassed as you."

"Maybe," I said, in a sulky manner. Because if she was right then that meant I would have to talk to him. Of course I would never know if she was right _until _I talked to him. "Shit." I said again, with feeling. I think it was beginning to be my favourite word.

When I'd finished my shift and was sitting on the couch, flicking through the channels and sipping a beer, on my own, I found myself reminiscing. It was a sad affair really, that I was this depressed because I hadn't seen my room-mate in a while. But Ray was Ray, he wasn't just my room-mate. I couldn't pin-point the time where I'd begun to feel differently about him, mainly because I'd been denying myself from any such feelings for so long. I remembered when he first came to County, black nail polish and all. He annoyed the hellout of me. And he still did, but for some reason it no longer just annoyed me, it made me want to laugh. He was so... insufferable. He was my opposite and yet, he was exactly what I needed sometimes, no most of the time.

"_Hey Neela, do you have any black nail polish?" The shout came form the bathroom._

"_No, that's your thing," I shouted back, shaking my head. He was getting ready for his gig._

_I wandered into the bathroom and found him rooting around in the cupboard, he pulled out a bottle triumphantly. "Here we go."_

"_Ri-ight."_

"_You sure you don;t want to come and see my sexy ass on stage?" He said with a grin._

"_I'll pass."_

"_You need to get out, it'll help you forget about him."_

"_I don't want to forget about him," I snapped._

"_I'm sorry, I didn't mean that you'd... I just meant it'd help you stop feeling guilty and sorry for yourself. It's a bad combination."_

"_I'm not feeling sorry for myself," I muttered surlily_

"_Ri-ight," he replied, mimicking me. He held up his hands, newly painted, "Ta da!"_

_I smiled, and tried to think about the time I'd first thought that black nail polish and a bit of eye-liner was sexy... It just wasn't me. But somehow, on Ray it was... almost irresistible. He grinned at me, and I noticed a cut by the side of his mouth. It looked a few days old, but I hadn't noticed it before. Wallowing in my own self pity I guess._

"_What happened to your lip?"_

_His hand went to his lip, as if something had just happened then. "Oh... nothing."_

"_Ray."_

_He was avoiding my eyes. "Nothing."_

"_Spill it."_

_He looked at me then, "Gallant punched me."_

_My eyes widened, "What?"_

"_When he came to Pratt's, he was really upset and he um... punched me."_

"_Ray, I'm so sorry."_

"_It's alright," he said, shaking his head, "Doesn't hurt any more." Then he raised an eyebrow at me, "You can make it up to me later." He licked his lips, and I shoved him. We both grinned at each other._

"_In your dreams, Barnett," I said. Then a little voice in my head replied, No in yours._

I'd decided to go out with him that night, and I guess it was to make it up to him. I never went to his gigs, but now I really wished I'd seen more. When he was playing he was so... I can't even describe it. But it really was like I couldn't help myself, I had to touch him. I needed to touch him. But he didn't feel the same way. Shit.

I heard the door shut, and Ray wandered into the room. "Hey," he said, giving me a quick smile. He put his bag down and grabbed his guitar. "I've got to practise, so I'll be in my room ok?"

"You can practise in here," I said, and I hated the fact my voice had gone so... needy.

"You're watching t.v, it's fine."

"Ray, please." I quickly added, "I'm not watching anything."

He shrugged and sat, cross-legged on the floor with his guitar. I switched the t.v off and pulled my legs up onto the couch. It was a subtle movement but it meant I was facing him more and could see him better. He bent his head and began to play and I bit my lip. He was so... and he wasn't mine. That was what killed me the most.

"Ray?"

"Hmm?" He looked up at me, his fingers still strumming.

"Can we talk?"

"Um... yeah sure." He put his guitar down and looked up at me, expectantly.

"I just wanted to say, I'm really sorry for that night. I shouldn't have... I just," I paused, not knowing what the hell to say.

"Neela, it's alright, I get the message." He sounded almost, angry. Why the hell would he be angry?

"If it's alright why have you been avoiding me for two weeks?" I realised my voice was raised.

"I thought that would be pretty obvious. For fuck's sake..." He ran his hand through his hair. "I just can't stand all this..."

"Stand what?" He was about to answer when both our pagers went off simultaneously.

We looked at each for a moment, then looked. It was the ER. He sighed, "I'll phone them."

**A/N Oh la la! Well, this was a cliff hanger I totally didn't intend. It just... happened! So, what is it that Ray can't stand? (as if we can't guess) and what emergency can the ER possibly have that would force them to interrupt our heroes? **


	14. Ray, Wow

**A/N Well, I know I only posted the last chapter tonight, like an hour ago (max) but I couldn't help it! I needed to write this next one, I mean I can't cope with cliffies either! So here it is, chapter 14... thank you for the lovely reviews I've already had, especially Sundas. You rock my socks! Hehe. This is for you my dear. **

**Oh and I'm sorry, but I don't know how to spell gurney... sorry!**

Chapter 14- Ray

Neela and I were jogging down the stairs, trying to shove our arms into the sleeves of our coats. I'd phoned the ER and they'd said there'd been a massive pile up, 15 cars and nearly all the victims were headed for County. Our conversation forgotten we were both out of the apartment in less than two minutes. We sat on the El in silence, Neela's fingers were tapping against her legs, nervously. On impulse I reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing it. She squeezed back and graced me with a smile. I'd missed her smile.

Before I had time to think about what I'd been about to say, what I'd been about to admit to her, we were there. We walked briskly to the ER, running passed an ambulance that was just pulling in. We gave nods to Kovac and Abby who were standing at the doors, waiting. Then we went to the lounge, pulling off our coats and on our lab coats. I got another brief smile before we went out to face the traumas.

"Barnett," Luka was wheeling a gurney into trauma one, I quickly followed him. It was a young boy, about ten, he was screaming in agony. I swallowed hard then stepped into the room. Soon I was so busy I didn't have time to think about anything else.

It was a long night, everyone was running to and from, shouting orders and each other, stepping on each other's toes. It was impossible not to, the ER was full on a usual basis, but I'd never been here when there had been so many traumas. I'd never experienced this many in my whole life. It was scary yet exhilarating too, seeing everyone working under immense pressure. I was walking along the corridor, looking for Luka, and I passed everyone working. I felt proud for some reason, of my friends and of myself. I'd gone to medical school because I wanted to help people, but I'd always thought I'd work on some ward, maybe be a paediatrician, mainly concentrating on my band. Then the chance had come to work in the ER at County. I'd been foolish enough to just think, _hey that sounds exciting, I'll give it a whirl. _But of course County had changed my life, I had new friends, a new perspective on my life. Sure, my band was still extremely important to me, but I don't think I'd be able to live without working here, pushing my limits everyday.

"Ray, get your ass in here!" I strode into the room when I heardLuka.Neela was trying to intubate but couldn't get passed the cords.

"Suction!" She shouted.

Luka looked at me, "Neela, let Ray try, you've been trying for a while now."

She glared at him, "I can do this. I just need some bloody suction."

"I'll do it if you want," I said, trying to help. Then she turned her glare to me, and I almost took a step back.

"Neela," Luka said sternly, "Step back and let Ray try. Now."

She stepped away and pulled off her gloves and gown, throwing them on the floor before striding out of the room. The doors banged as I put on a gown. "Ok..." I said, unsuredly, walking over to the patient.

When the guy was stable I went to look for Neela. She was in the doctor's lounge, her hands gripping the counter. She was breathing deeply, her eyes closed. I could tell how angry she was from the stiffness of her back, and the fact her knuckles were practically white she was holding the counter so tightly.

"Neela," I said, quietly.

"What?" She asked, almost growling.

"What's wrong?"

She turned to me, her eyes wide and angry. "You think you're so great don't you. I mean, you don't need to take this seriously, or work at it, you're just good at it, so who the hell cares?"

"Neela," I tried to interrupt her but she held up her hand.

"It doesn't to matter to you that some of this need this to work. I need this to work. I've worked so fucking hard, and I don't get anywhere. You, you just breeze in and out, doing everything right and you don't even care!"

"The fuck I don't care." I couldn't help but shout back, she thought she knew me so well, and I didn't think that at all. I didn't want to shout but I couldn't help it, couldn't help arguing with her.

"Yeah, it really seems that way. All you do is wheedle your way out of things, making out you're this great person. All you really care about is your band, this isn't just some fucking saturday job in a supermarket."

"Neela, what the hell is wrong with you? Why the hell would you think that I think that? I _know _how important this is. God, all I did today was help you out."

"Yeah," she said, her voice suddenly at normal volume, but I could still sense the anger. "You're always there when I need you. Poor little Neela can't do anything for herself can she? Lucky she has good old Doctor Ray to look out for her."

"I've never thought that Neela! You are the most independent, intelligent, wonderful woman I've ever met. You don't need anyone. In fact sometimes it seems like you don't even fucking _want _anyone. I've only tried to be your friend. And that's what friends do, they look out for each other."

"I don't want you to be my fucking friend!" She shouted. I clenched my jaw.

"Fine." I turned and began to walk out. I didn't know what the hell was wrong with her but I could take a hint. Suddenly I felt her hand on my sleeve, tugging. I turned round to face her. She stood there, so much smaller than me, looking up at me with big brown eyes.

"I don't want you to be my friend," she said, quietly.

"Neela," I began, she interrupted me by going on tip toes and kissing me. I was caught completely by surprise. Whatever I'd thought she was going to do, it sure as hell wasn't that. It was only a quick touch, barely a kiss at all.

She pulled away, "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have,"

This time I interrupted her by kissing her, fiercely. I grabbed the back of her coat to pull her closer to me. And she was kissing me back, finally, after so long, I was kissing her. I felt like I could melt right then and there. All the anger she'd been feeling before seemed to go into this kiss as she pressed her whole body against me. She ran her hands through my hair and I delighted in that small touch. We explored each others mouths, hands running everywhere as if neither of us could let go, as if we needed to drink our fill of each other. It was as though both of us were worried this would never happen again, I know I was.I'd never thought Neela would feel this way about me, that she'd ever want me to touch her like this. I'd never known...

I pulled away and she pulled me back, but I resisted. I picked her up and carried her to the side, sitting her on the counter top. I grinned at her, "Stiff neck."

She smiled, and leaned towards me again. As she kissed me she pushed my lab coat off my shoulders so it lay in a heap on the floor. Irealised she'd already shrugged hers off before.She ran her hands under my t-shirt and made my breath catch in my throat. My hands were cupping her waist and I slipped my fingers under her shirt, tracing circles on her back. She began tugging my t-shirt up, and over my head. It was soon on the floor with the lab coats.

Just that moment the door began to open, "Hey Ray have you seen..." It was Morris. He stood in the doorway gaping. I jumped backwards and Neela slid off the counter.

"Um." I said.

"Sorry, I didn't know you were er..." he said, nervously, backing out of the door. It closed behind him.

I grinned at Neela. "I'm not going out first."

She smiled back, but looked mortified. "Me either. Let's just lock the door and stay here."

"Fine with me," I said, wiggling my eyebrows.

"Shut-up." Then she added, "And put your shirt back on."

"Why, am I too irresistible?"

"I said shut-up, Barnett!"

I grinned again, and put my t-shirt back on. I stroked it fondly, "I'm never ever washing this shirt. I'll pin it up on the wall over my shrine of Neela."

"Ew. That is just wrong."

I chuckled and put my lab coat on and handed hers to her. "You better get out there."

"I'm not going out there."

"We'll never get home if you don't," I said, seriously.

"And why would we want to get home so quickly?" She asked, coyly.

"Wouldn't you like to know," I said with a grin.

"I'm still not going out first."

"Well, what'll you do for me if I take your place on the firing line?"

She went up on tip toes, but rather than kissing me, she ran her tongue along my lips, I parted them but she pulled back. "Wouldn't you like to know."

I shook my head and walked towards the door. "I'll see you at the end of the shift, Roomie."

"Not if I see you first," she called back, childishly.

I grinned and stepped out. I walked to reception and saw Morris furiously whispering something to Frank. Gossip queens. I walked passed and smiled to myself as I felt their eyes following me. I didn't really care about what they had to say, I was still on a high. Wow, was the only word I could use for what had just happened and that seemed so high school. Nonetheless is was true. A-fucking-mazing was another descriptive that came to mine. Suddenly, as much as I loved working here, I couldn't wait to get home.

**A/N Do I need to say anything? No, me thinks not. This was the chapter I think you've all been waiting for, but did it reach your standards?I'll only know if youreview, please! **


	15. Neela, Relief

**A/N Um, I don't know quite how to say this. But I think this might be the last chapter. Ducks please don't kill me! It's just, well, I had an idea for what might happen next, but I really don't want to drag this out and maybe ruin. So I thought, why not finish it now, or perhaps in a chapters time (it depends what happens in this chapter) and do another ER story. Because you see my friends, I'm hooked! I have to wait until "the new year" for more ER t.v wise, so I'm sooooo thankful I found this category. And wow, the reviews! I mean, I posted two chapters last night, so that's a total of 14 chapters, and 85 reviews! That is my second highest lot of reviews! I was just so... wow'd out! Lol. So of course, I must write more in the land of ER, because it is so fantabulous. So, (ok I'm rambling and repeating myself, not a good sign!) although this particular story may be ending, I'll definitely be doing more! Probably having at the very least hints of Reela, if not being Reela's but, who knows which characters will strike me tomorrow!**

**Ok, long a/n there, sorry about that! One last point, in this chapter Neela puts on the Snow Patrol album, the Final Straw, and How To Be Dead comes on. This is basically me saying, if I was actually writing this for ER, that would be playing in the background. It has nothing to do with the lyrics, so I won't write them, but I was listening to it one day and this following scene came into my head. If you have it, I say give it a listen while reading, and tell me whether you think it fits or not!**

Chapter 15- Neela

I hovered around the lounge for a few minutes, trying to avoid the fate I knew I would have when I went outside. Everyone would be looking at me, whispering. People would say I was paranoid, but considering I'd just been caught making out with my room-mate in the the doctor's lounge, I guess they had a good reason to gossip. Shit, I hadn't meant it to get that far. I hadn't even known I was going to kiss him, I just... did it. Finally. And it felt so good, I mean obviously it felt good, but it felt like such a relief. Because he kissed me back. Hell, did he kiss me back.

I took a deep breath and stepped out of the door, striding confidently passed the desk. I was pretty short, so it was hard to stride confidently, but I hoped I pulled it off. I was almost passed, without having had any comments, at least in my hearing when I heard my name.

"Neela." It was Luka. I turned and walked to him. "You and Ray pulled a double shift tonight right?"

"Sort of, I was at home for a while before we got paged." I was waiting for the joke. Then I remembered it was Luka, ever the professional. I relaxed a little.

"Well, you've both worked hard. All the traumas are stable now, so will you tell Ray you can both go home. And have the day off tomorrow, it's been a rough night."

"Thanks," I said with a smile. He was right, it had been a difficult night. I'd never been under such immense pressure. I guess I hadn't coped with it very well, towards the end. But in a way that was a good thing, it was the reason I'd finally opened up to Ray and... well, yeah. I wished I hadn't shouted at him though. I was going to have to apologise before we did anything else tonight. I blushed, for being so forward in my own thoughts. Then I heard Morris say to Frank;

"I wonder what they'll be getting up to tomorrow?"

I turned and scowled at him, "Shut up Morris!" I snapped, before turning on my heel to find Ray.

We were sitting quietly on the El before no time. We'd got our coats and said a quick goodbye to everyone. I don't think I'd ever seen Ray in such a rush, he was always a "just one more minute" then it took tenkind of person. But tonight he'd been very prompt. It made me grin to think that I was the reason for it.

"What are you smiling at?"

"You," I said, turning to him and flashing a cheesy grin.

"Someone's happy," he said, grinning back at me. I just nodded. He put his hand on mine, which was resting on my leg. Then he began tapping his fingers on my leg, my upper thigh to be exact.

"Ray." I warned.

"What?" He asked, feigning innocence as his hand moved further up my thigh.

"I've told you once, you are never, ever getting sex on the El."

He made puppy dog eyes, "Aw, you're no fun."

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. Then I blurted out, "I'm sorry."

"What?" He asked, turning to me, he'd been looking out the window absent-mindedly.

"I said I'm sorry."

"What for?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Tonight. I shouldn't have been pissed with you. I was just... annoyed because I couldn't intubate that guy and everything was happening so quickly and it was so..."

He put his finger on my lips, "Neela, it's alright. Hell, if you hadn't had shouted at me, you probably never would have kissed me and then where would we be?"

I smiled, I'd just been thinking the exact same thing half an hour ago. "Our stop," I said, getting up.

We both walked surprisingly slowly up the stairs to our apartment. It was as if we were both nervous. I got my keys out and couldn't seem to find the right one, my fingers just weren't working and my legs felt all wobbly. I hadn't felt this nervous since I got the letter saying whether or not I'd been accepted at County.

I slipped the key in the door and turned to look up at him. He was looking down at me intently. It was like he was studying me or something. "What?"

"Nothing," he said with a wry smile. Then he bent down to kiss me. I leaned against the door, pushing it open and we practically fell in. I grinned and walked into the living room, taking off my coat and throwing my bag down. I went to the c.d player and just pressed play. I needed some music. I realised I'd been the last one listening to it, unusually, and Snow Patrol was in. How To Be Dead filled the room, strangely soothing.

I turned and Ray was standing in the middle of the room, he'd dumped his coat and bag and was just standing there. I just looked at him. There was something so charismatic about him, I just wanted to touch him, listen to him laugh, anything as long as it involved him. I stepped across the room and fell into his open arms. I leaned against his chest for a minute, just breathing him in. Then I looked up at him and he bent down, kissing me. It was the polar opposite of our fiery session at work. There was none of the urgency, but somehow it was more serious. It meant a lot more. I think we both realised that the other one wasn't going to run. He began unbuttoning my shirt, and as he slipped it off he pulled his own t-shirt off as well. He folded it neatly and put it on the coffee table.

"That's for the shrine."

"Shut up," I said, laughing. He stood up straight and looked at me. I felt my cheeks burn. "Stop it."

"I'm just looking."

"Well, stop just looking."

"Alright," he said, with a grin. He pulled me closer to him, and we were kissing fiercely again. It was amazing we could go from one depth to another. I tried to move closer to him, but we were already touching with our whole bodies.

I made a small sound in my throat and he smiled against my kiss. "Stop laughing at me, Barnett," I mumbled.

"Never." With that he picked me up, throwing me over his shoulder like he had done once before. He took me into his room and threw me down on the bed. I leaned back against the pillows. He crawled to me on all fours, breathing heavy.

"You win," I said in a quite voice and he smiled at me before kissing me.

Later that night we were lying in his bed, and I was looking at his room. There were posters everywhere from different gigs, and luckily no shrine. I snuggled against his chest and it felt like the best place I'd ever been, I was so comfortable. I sighed happily. My eyes were heavy and I wanted nothing more to just fall asleep, next to him. It had been one hell of a day, and I was suddenly aware of how tired I was. I hadn't been sleeping well recently, because he'd been avoiding me and I was worried about it. Now, I knew I'd be able to sleep soundly.

"Neela?" He whispered.

"Mmm?"

"I..." he paused and I waited for more. "Nothing."

Normally I would have pressed him, but right then I was too tired. So I just said; "Night Roomie." Before letting myself give way to sleep.

I woke up on my own. I thought for one moment it had been some extremely embarrassing dream, but then I realised I was still in his room. I slipped out of bed and pulled on a big black t-shirt that was in a pile that I hoped was clean and my underwear. I padded out into the hall and heard sounds coming from the kitchen. Ray was listening to the radio, bobbing his head to some music and singing along. There was a pan on the cooker, with what looked like pancake batter.

"Yum," I said, he swivelled round and grinned at me.

"Morning sleeping beauty. Or should I say afternoon."

"It's not is it?" I asked in shock.

"No, but nearly. You were wasting away our day off." He gave me a coy look that made me want to blush.

"You should have woken me."

He shrugged, "You looked so sweet, sleeping there, in my bed." He emphasised the my.

"Mmm, I did wonder why I was in your bed, very odd," I said with a smile. He walked towards me and kissed me.

"Jog your memory?"

"Perhaps," I replied. He grinned.

When we had eaten breakfast we were sitting on the sofa, well kissing on the sofa would probably be more accurate. I pulled away from him, "What are we going to tell everyone?"

"Everyone thinks we're together anyway. I say we just let 'em think what they want."

"I'm going to tell Abby, she'll probably be pleased we've finally got our acts together."

"I know I am," he said with a grin.

I replied, completely out of the blue, "Will you teach me guitar?"

He looked at me as if I was a little insane but shrugged, "If you want. I've never taught anyone so I might not be any good." He went to get his guitar.

I think I probably would have learned a lot quicker if my teacher hadn't been Ray and if he wasn't so distracting when he was playing. Of course the fact neither of us were wearing very much clothes really didn't help. I was trying to play a chord when I remembered a snippet of last night. "What were you going to say last night?" I asked absent-mindedly

"What?"

"Last night, you said Neela I, and then stopped."

"Oh... nothing." Him denying it only served to get me curious, I put the guitar down and pinned him, straddling him.

"What was it?"

"I told you, nothing."

"Tell me Barnett." He shook his head and I began tickling him.

"Alright alright. I was going to say I love you."

I rolled off him. "You were going to say what?"

"I was going to say Neela, I love you." He turned to me, and put his hand on my face, turning it so I was looking him in the eyes. "I love you Neela Rasgotra. I'm sorry, but I don't seem to be able to help it."

"You don't have to say that you know."

He laughed, "You say that like it's a bad thing. And I know I don't _have _to. I wasn't going to but... it's true. I do." He smiled at me.

I grinned back, "I think I might love you too." Then I added with one eyebrow raised, "Although I'm not quite sure you might have to help me make up my mind."

He grinned, "Oh I can definitely do that."

**A/N... Well, this is my last a/n for this story. Because, yup, that was the end. Don't you think? I mean I could keep it going... but I'd rather end it on a good note where it's, you know, at it's peak so to speak. So, please look out for any of my new ER fics, (please) but almost more importantly, please please please review! Fifteen reviews for this chapter and we hit the hundred mark. Go on, you know you wanna! Please tell me what you thought, thank you! Love you all,**

**Moonlight x**


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